Red Bull Culture Clash leaves fans wanting more

In four rounds, Top Boyz, Durban Massacre, Red Hot and African Storm managed to send the crowd into a frenzy of ecstasy and boredom simultaneously. In the end, Durban Massacre, led by DJ Tira and voted for by the screams of the audience, walked away as Red Bull Culture Clash champions. The elephant in the room is that Red Hot, led by Patoranking, would have massacred the Durban artists if they were not eliminated. Nigerians don’t come last even if they lose!

Before getting into the Good, the Bad and the Ugly of the performance, there are a few things that need to get off the keyboard. Getting into the venue was laborious, especially for people who were apparently VIPs. They stood in a queue for an hour just to have their names confirmed. It was as if people were checking if they were registered to vote, except that that goes a lot quicker. The event would have benefitted if there was a day designated for ticket collection rather than having people stand in the cold, breathing and vaping onto each other like wild beasts waiting to be branded.

At any rate, the crews were introduced during the campaign leading up to the event and people were convinced that they would be dancing to hip hop, dancehall, house and Afrobeat. The Red Bull Culture Clash was an exciting bit of confusion. It was like opening a tub of ice cream only to find that your mum had used the box to freeze polony. But you eat it anyway because you’re a student.

Each team had its own stage. The central structure was a runaway from which dancers did cartwheels and balanced bottles of brandy on their heads while performing contortionist tricks. Those closest to the stage also had the luck of catching money – because Red Hot made it rain ZARs right before they were eliminated for not adhering to the competition rules.

African Storm, the team led by Admiral and Jahseed, did not fail to disappoint. Their stage presence was non-existent and their selection of songs was as underwhelming as drinking camomile tea and expecting to get an energy boost. Thankfully there was Red Bull available for those who wanted to stay up for the team’s backtrack shenanigans in which they ad-libbed when they themselves got bored. To add to this artistic tragedy, African Storm brought Beenie Man onto stage to sing for a couple of seconds before he became a mannequin bathing in his own vanity. The king of dancehall has had a string of bad performances in 2017 but it seems he’s adamant that his persona beats actual singing to wow his fans. 

But all this didn’t really matter. The crowd knew that the event was all about mucking about in the name of good ol’ fun. Fans danced in paroxysms of excitement, laughed and drank to their heart’s content while one of the biggest sound rigs witnessed in Jo’Burg shook Orlando Stadium like Krakatoa. Maybe this will give Pirates a wake-up call this season. But probably not.  

DJ Tira brought the house down and made people jump to the ceiling (which wasn’t there – it’s a open-air stadium) when he brought Mgarimbe onstage to deliver the unofficial South African national anthem ‘Sister Bettina’. The Durban Massacre went on to bring kwaito legends Zola and Mdu as well as hip hop star Riky Rick. The Top Boyz, captained by rapper AKA, had HHP and Jub Jub, who performed in his jail attire, as the guest performers. Jub Jub sang his hit ‘Ndikhokhele’, which had the audience spellbound and singing along until the timer hit zero.

It was Red Hot that brought the heat with appearances from Nasty C, Yemi Alade, Busiswa and Davido, who made ‘money fall’ on the audience. The crowd was hypnotised and in a state of euphoric hysteria. It was clear at this point that Red Hot was going to win. But Red Hot got sloppy and were disqualified for performing Davido’s ‘If’ twice, handing the title to Durban Massacre.

The Red Bull Culture Clash, which was held in Africa for the first time, was a success that brought an atmosphere of lightheartedness and left the audience with positive memories and anticipation for next year’s event.